Monday, June 1, 2009

Every little thing you say, brings me one step closer to the edge...

You know those people in your life who make you want to scream all day long? Well I have mine, a co-worker, who I refer to as Troll. She is nicknamed Troll because she looks like one - she's under 5'0", she has a trollish face, and she uses her powers for evil, not good. I also wouldn't be surprised if she lived under a bridge and terrified small children on their way home.

Today is one of those days where I just have to walk away, and ignore her - since I can't walk as far away as I want to, I'm venting via blog. Let me give you some insight to Troll. We started out as average coworkers and within a week I had nearly offended her. Troll is approaching her third marriage and when she told me this I blurted out "Hey, third time is a charm. This one will take!" As the words left my mouth I was trying to stop myself. So while not a huge mistake, she already eyed me as an evil person who spoke too freely. So Troll and I manage to work together and we even became work friends, eating lunch together, chit chatting, etc. A few weeks later she asks me if I'm dating anyone and if she can set me up with her nephew. Well, in the what came to be the worst blind date I never went on - that story later - Troll and I also stopped talking unless it was work related.  She started texting me in the morning if I wasn't at work at my normal time.

We have this great rule that states "in by ten or call". I, being in the late-to-bed, late-to-rise category, take this rule for all it's worth.  I'm usually in by 9:15/9:30, but there are the ocassional days where I don't come in till 10. Around 8:50-9:00 AM I start getting texts "are you coming in today?", "hey, no word from you yet - are you showing up today?", "it's past your normal time, is everything okay?".  Being the brat I am, I refuse to answer these texts. Troll is not my boss and my boss has never expressed concern over my attendance, so I don't see why she needs to know. So I continue to ignore these things and she then changes tactics. She goes for the public display of motherly badgering. "Erin..." [closing her eyes and clasping her hands] "...it would really help me if you could do this one thing for me [she then names the favor]. I just need it done right now and I haven't seen it yet."  My polite response, all while smiling, "Oh, you mean the document I emailed to Marge (mine and Troll's boss) yesterday? Cause she has it and everything looked good to her."  Troll: "Oh, well that is just spectacularay! Who would have thought you'd catch on so fast!" Yes, she says it Speck-tack-uuu-lar-ae and she thinks it's cute! So that's how a typical conversation will go between Troll and I.

We have a big event happening over the next few months as one of our companies splits off and goes on its on; and we have a lot of documentation that needs to edited for any references to this company. This hasn't been a task of mine till Troll gave me 20 documents last week that need to be re-written within a week. I later learn that she has been sitting on these docs for at least a month, doing nothing with them. So while I'm working on them and cursing her, she stops by today: "Erin, when you're done with those and ready to upload them, let me know and I'll help you out." Kandy, my cubicle neighbor says : "Oh, good be sure to grab me cause I don't know how to do it either." Troll responds (in her classic condescending tone) "Kandy, the steps to do it are on SOP #blah blah blah. You can handle the directions. Erin, when you're ready, come grab me."

I'm at the edge and I'm about to break!