Friday, August 28, 2009

LQTM

Just wanted to share a comic that made me chuckle.

Tuesday, August 18, 2009

A West Side Story

Operator: West Valley Police Dispatch. How can I help you?
Me: Yeah... I found a suspicious package on my driveway this morning. It's a clear bag full of money and some sort of mixture that looks like sand and salt.
Operator: Can you tell what it is?
Me: No, but I thought it might be drugs so I called. I can clearly see a $100 bill.
Operator: Ok. I'll send some officers out there soon.
Me: Should I move the bag away - in case the person comes back for it?
Operator: No, don't touch it till they get there and see what it is.

So I patiently wait and because I'm certain that the person who dropped this will be back, I wait outside and stand right over the package. Ten minutes later a cop car pulls up.

Officer 1: Hello Miss. So, you have a suspiscious package huh?
Me: Yes, it's right here. I'm not sure what it is, but I haven't touched it.
Officer 2: You found it this morning?
Me: Yes, as I was taking the garbage out. I checked with my roommates and it doesn't belong to them.
Officer 1: Okay, let's take a look at this. Uh, Miss... this is a fake bill.
Me: What?!
Officer 1: Yeah, it's fake. Let's open it up.
Me: Do you want me to go get some gloves?
Officer 1: [chuckling] No, that won't be necessary. Well you did find something... this is an advertisement.
Me: What?! An advertisement!
Officer 1: And the drugs... that's actually sand. It's an easy way to advertise. Fill the bag and toss it.
Me: [laughing pretty hard at this point].... I thought I stopped a drug drop
Officer 1: Nope, but it appears the advertiser caught your attention.

At this point my neighbor comes around the corner to see what's going on.

Officer 1: Hello Ma'am. Did you get your $100 this morning.
Brooke: Yeah, I sure did. I already tossed mine.
Me: Not me! I thought it was drugs so I called the police! I even made sure to not touch the package. I must watch too many cop/crime drama's cause I could just see CSI out here tearing up the front yard. I feel really stupid right now... I'm so sorry to waste your time.

Officer 2: Well you've made our morning a lot funnier.

Me: Well, I'm glad I could help.

Officer 1: Well have a great day, cause you've made ours!


This is how my Tuesday morning started. How was yours?

Wednesday, August 12, 2009

I know you are, but what am I?

I know that majority of my posts are rants - but that's who I am and I ask you not to judge me.  Today's rant is for engaged people everywhere.  I have lots of married friends and several engaged friends and about 90% of them have all comitted this crime - the crime of assuming that because they are engaged and happy that I must follow suit. I love to celebrate an engagement/wedding; it's an exciting time and deserves rejoicing but doesn't need to be used as a tool to discuss with me my current state of bliss (which is usually quite high).  I was talking with The Pirate the other day about this very topic. We both have engaged people in our lives who are now suddenly wanting to know who we are dating, who we like, what are we doing to "find our eternal best friend", etc.  I'm very happy for these friends, but I'm not quite sure why the mantle of happiness spreader comes to them. Is there a sense of obligation that an engaged person feels to help others?  Is happiness spreader a real term?