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Yes, it really happened

Two good friends begged me to share this incident*, so here it is. Please, don't judge me.

Sometimes late at night, I find myself starting the most pointless projects - organizing closet, cleaning out the 'junk drawer' in my nightstand, dusting, organzing my book case, etc. This night I was trying to glue my glasses case back together. I had some super glue, a napkin and my glasses case all lined up ready to put back together - this all started around midnight or so. I open the glue and start putting it in one section of the case. I screw the lid back on the glue and hold down the case for about two minutes to make sure it sticks. I take my hand off and so far the lid is sticking. I unscrew the glue lid again and start squeezing out more glue, but nothing is coming this time. I hold it upside down for a bit and squeeze harder, still nothing. The cap is still in my right hand, and the tube is in my left hand. I screw the lid on and go to move the case when I realize my right hand won't let go of the lid. I yank and it doesn't even budge - not even a wiggle! I try release my left hand - nope, it's sealed to the tube. My hands are stuck to a tube, it's midnight, I'm in the basement, all alone and I don't really know what to do.

I unscrew the lid so at least my hands are somewhat free. I panic and find the carton for the glue to read what happens when it makes contact with skin. Well, no shocker here, but it's highly discouraged to let super glue touch your skin - "May cause irritation and rash". I just sigh and think about what I can do. I decide that warm, soapy water is my best bet to help relax the glue. I run to the bathroom and go to turn on the water, but then realize that my hands aren't really in the best position to be moving things, like faucets. My right hand is stuck as follows: My thumb and pointer finger are stuck to the lid and my middle finger is glued to the pointer finger and they are stuck in a claw-like position. My left hand has the tube stuck the same fingers, but it's running along the inside of my hand. Glue also spread to my ring finger and pinky and they are in a claw like position as well. I soon realize that I can't get my hands around the faucet and turn them - my solution is to go upstairs and use the sink where all you have to do is lift the lever to turn the water on.

I tip-toe upstairs, get the water running and then realize my next dilema - get a bowl down from the cupboard so I can soak my hands. I basically have 3-pronged claw hands and simple tasks are seeming impossible right now. I open the cupboard and then proceed to do this scoop and lift thing so I can basically knock the bowl out out and hopefully catch it. After a few attempts I get the bowl out, put some warm water in it, and then head downstairs so I can do the soaking down there. Getting water soapy when you don't have hands, is a bit tricky, so I decided to just throw in a bar of soap and let it soak and in-turn make the water soapy. I get my hands in the bowl and after ten minutes the tube and the lid finally wiggle loose and fall off; my fingers, however, are still glued together. I keep soaking them and keep trying to free them, but when I try, I just feel my skin tearing, and it really hurts. Every ten minutes I have to add more warm water, but I'm able to use the faucet downstairs now that the glue tube and lid isn't stuck to my hand. I repeat this process for about an hour, and finally my middle finger, on both hands, is freed. It's bright red, hurts a bit, but it's free!  I decide to just soak one hand at a time and this proves to be a better idea. My left hand is finally free and I can use it to help my right hand.

I lather up soap as best I can and just massage my fingers hoping the glue will give way soon. The soap is really stinging my left hand, and I'm starting to wonder at what point I can wake my parents and ask for help - but then I realize how crazy that sounds and I just keep working at it. Thirty minutes later I feel my fingers start to wiggle and then it's a matter of just working more soap in. FINALLY - my hands are free.  As I examine them, I notice that they are bright red, some skin is missing and red blotchy marks are all over my hand.  I washed them a few more times to make sure the glue is completely rinsed and I'm nearly brought to tears from how bad it hurts to have hot water and soap touch them. I manage to get some bandaids and ointment on them - took me almost another 30 minutes cause it hurt to bend my fingers - and I finally go to bed.

In the morning my hands are still aching; washing and doing my hair was a bit difficult, and I just stare at the mess in the bathroom as I remember everything that happened that night. I eventually shared the story with my mom - who just laughed and shook her head, and then my friends who rolled with laughter and to this day still ridicule me. Sometimes they hold their hands up in a claw-like manner and try to pick things up. I may need new friends... or I need to stop doing dumb things...


*There's a whole other piece to this story, but it's a bit... gross and potentially offensive to some. If you really want to hear it, ask me in person.

Comments

Jill Spencer said…
LOL...shall we call you mom?? I'm curious to hear the rest of the story. FYI...next time use finger nail polish remover.
Unknown said…
I'm so glad you made this story official! It will always be one of my favorite stories of ALL time!
Rachel said…
HA! I'll be looking forward to part deux of the story next time I see you in person.
Michelle said…
Really? I don't even know what to say but that is a little hilarious. I definitely want to hear the gross and potentially offensive part to the story though. P.s. It was fun to see you and chat for a few and you look really good by the way. Anyway, Merry Christmas.

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