Welcome! You've recently enrolled in Communications 101. Our objective, in this class, is to show what not to say when communicating with people. To help drive this points home, I'll be sharing a real life scenario, they may have occured this past weekend.
Let's get some back story established for this scenario. Being the age of 28 and single, people like to set me up on dates. Misty* is a coworker who asked if she could give my number to her neighbor, T-Dogg*, and I told her that would be fine. T-Dogg sent me a text a few days ago (I'm not a huge fan of first introductions over text, but that may be a whole other post on my issues with texting) and we exchanged a few texts back and forth. He called me later that night, but I was at dinner with my friend and missed the call. I sent him a brief text explaining where I was and that I may not be able to call him back till later. By the time my friend and I were done, he had called again, but when I noticed the missed call it was late so I didn't return the call. The next morning I tried calling him, but he wasn't available. T-Dogg sent me a text saying he understood my dilema the other night and that he'd try me again. Well he never did. Normally I would just count this as a loss and move on, but since he was a set up of a friend and he had tried to call me twice, the least I could do was call him one more time and make another effort.
I called him Sunday night and here's what happened. (majority of you may not be shocked by what happens here - this is just my luck)
T-Dogg: Hello?
Me: Hi, T-Dogg? This is Erin - Misty's friend.
T-Dogg: Who?
Me: Erin. Erin Johnson.
T-Dogg: I don't know an Erin.
Me: Misty gave you my number and we've texted a few times and we've played phone tag for a while.
T-Dogg: ... hmm... oh, Erin! Yeah okay. Sorry, I forgot who you were.
Well, I'm dying of embarrassment at this point. I just called a guy who forgot about me!
Erin: (clearing throat and trying to muster up whatever self-esteem is left laying on the floor) Have I caught you at a bad time? Can you talk right now?
T-Dogg: Oh yeah, now is fine.
So we make small talk. He tells me he's working on a christmas gift for his dad and i start to ask him another question when he says:
T-Dogg: You know what, I'm really busy right now. Can I call you later, tonight?
Me: Oh, sure. No problem.
I run downstairs and begin sharing with Michelle what's just happened. I tell her how I just called this boy, who I've been "talking" to for a few days, and he has no idea who I am. How I called him and had to explain to him how he knows me. I go off and say things like "How can someone send you handfuls of texts, call you 2 or 3 times and two days later have no clue who you are?!" "Are you that busy of a dating fool that you can't keep your girls straight?" "Who tells someone 'oh yeah, I'm not busy, let's chat' and then ten minutes later they are too busy to talk? Why can't he just say 'I'm no longer interested'?"
After this small rant, T-Dogg sends me a text that says:
"hahaha you just butt dialed me and you so didn't know. i liked your conversation with your roomie"
Yup! Somehow along the way from my room to the downstairs I had called him and he heard everything I said. I even made Michelle go upstairs in her room and I called her and left my phone on the couch and recreated the conversation. She came down and informed me that minus the echo, she could hear everything! I'm mortified and feel like a fool! This is just my luck -which is no luck. I have no luck in several areas, and dating is one of them. After a good five minutes of freaking out, I sent him a text apologizing for what happened and he graciously accepted it. T-Dogg then started texting me and all I could think was "Wait. Aren't you too busy to talk? How do you now have time to text?"
About two hours later he asked me if he could call me and I said yes. He called and I again apologized for what I said - even though I don't think I said anything way mean or inappropriate - and he said not to worry about it that it's a crazy situation. I explained to him that being set-up isn't crazy; however overhearing a conversation you weren't meant to is a crazy situation. So I start asking him a few questions and then I decide - hey, he called me, let him ask a few. That wasn't a great idea. We sat in silence for 15 seconds (which is like ten minutes in silence when face-to-face with someone).
I started asking questions again and he started mumbling so I had to ask him about 10 times to repeat what he was saying. I learned he was a baker and then I learned he has to be up by 4 am. I made a comment about how early that was and that I was shocked he'd be up still at 11 pm. Suddenly he replies "Yeah, it's early, so I better go. Well it was nice talking to you and you know what - I can guarantee you'll hear from me again." I just say "Oh, ok then. Goodbye."
So what have we learned?
1- Don't forget the names of people you are talking to.
2- Always lock your phone and avoid accidently calling people and then talk about them while they hear everything.
3- When calling someone, be sure to initiate some conversation and don't leave it up to the one person.
4- Don't mumble. No one likes a mumbler.
Thank you for your attendance.
*Names have been changed to protect the innocent, not so innocent, fools and mumblers.
Let's get some back story established for this scenario. Being the age of 28 and single, people like to set me up on dates. Misty* is a coworker who asked if she could give my number to her neighbor, T-Dogg*, and I told her that would be fine. T-Dogg sent me a text a few days ago (I'm not a huge fan of first introductions over text, but that may be a whole other post on my issues with texting) and we exchanged a few texts back and forth. He called me later that night, but I was at dinner with my friend and missed the call. I sent him a brief text explaining where I was and that I may not be able to call him back till later. By the time my friend and I were done, he had called again, but when I noticed the missed call it was late so I didn't return the call. The next morning I tried calling him, but he wasn't available. T-Dogg sent me a text saying he understood my dilema the other night and that he'd try me again. Well he never did. Normally I would just count this as a loss and move on, but since he was a set up of a friend and he had tried to call me twice, the least I could do was call him one more time and make another effort.
I called him Sunday night and here's what happened. (majority of you may not be shocked by what happens here - this is just my luck)
T-Dogg: Hello?
Me: Hi, T-Dogg? This is Erin - Misty's friend.
T-Dogg: Who?
Me: Erin. Erin Johnson.
T-Dogg: I don't know an Erin.
Me: Misty gave you my number and we've texted a few times and we've played phone tag for a while.
T-Dogg: ... hmm... oh, Erin! Yeah okay. Sorry, I forgot who you were.
Well, I'm dying of embarrassment at this point. I just called a guy who forgot about me!
Erin: (clearing throat and trying to muster up whatever self-esteem is left laying on the floor) Have I caught you at a bad time? Can you talk right now?
T-Dogg: Oh yeah, now is fine.
So we make small talk. He tells me he's working on a christmas gift for his dad and i start to ask him another question when he says:
T-Dogg: You know what, I'm really busy right now. Can I call you later, tonight?
Me: Oh, sure. No problem.
I run downstairs and begin sharing with Michelle what's just happened. I tell her how I just called this boy, who I've been "talking" to for a few days, and he has no idea who I am. How I called him and had to explain to him how he knows me. I go off and say things like "How can someone send you handfuls of texts, call you 2 or 3 times and two days later have no clue who you are?!" "Are you that busy of a dating fool that you can't keep your girls straight?" "Who tells someone 'oh yeah, I'm not busy, let's chat' and then ten minutes later they are too busy to talk? Why can't he just say 'I'm no longer interested'?"
After this small rant, T-Dogg sends me a text that says:
"hahaha you just butt dialed me and you so didn't know. i liked your conversation with your roomie"
Yup! Somehow along the way from my room to the downstairs I had called him and he heard everything I said. I even made Michelle go upstairs in her room and I called her and left my phone on the couch and recreated the conversation. She came down and informed me that minus the echo, she could hear everything! I'm mortified and feel like a fool! This is just my luck -which is no luck. I have no luck in several areas, and dating is one of them. After a good five minutes of freaking out, I sent him a text apologizing for what happened and he graciously accepted it. T-Dogg then started texting me and all I could think was "Wait. Aren't you too busy to talk? How do you now have time to text?"
About two hours later he asked me if he could call me and I said yes. He called and I again apologized for what I said - even though I don't think I said anything way mean or inappropriate - and he said not to worry about it that it's a crazy situation. I explained to him that being set-up isn't crazy; however overhearing a conversation you weren't meant to is a crazy situation. So I start asking him a few questions and then I decide - hey, he called me, let him ask a few. That wasn't a great idea. We sat in silence for 15 seconds (which is like ten minutes in silence when face-to-face with someone).
I started asking questions again and he started mumbling so I had to ask him about 10 times to repeat what he was saying. I learned he was a baker and then I learned he has to be up by 4 am. I made a comment about how early that was and that I was shocked he'd be up still at 11 pm. Suddenly he replies "Yeah, it's early, so I better go. Well it was nice talking to you and you know what - I can guarantee you'll hear from me again." I just say "Oh, ok then. Goodbye."
So what have we learned?
1- Don't forget the names of people you are talking to.
2- Always lock your phone and avoid accidently calling people and then talk about them while they hear everything.
3- When calling someone, be sure to initiate some conversation and don't leave it up to the one person.
4- Don't mumble. No one likes a mumbler.
Thank you for your attendance.
*Names have been changed to protect the innocent, not so innocent, fools and mumblers.
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